I wish I was that girl, unfortunately, Betty Grable beat me to the title more than half a decade ago. Lloyds of London (the standard bearer for insuring celebrity body parts) insured Grable’s legs for one million dollars, and ever since celebrities (like Mary Hart, Angie Everhart, Jamie Lee Curtis and Porshce Lynn) have been insuring their legs for the same or even more than that amount.

Betty Grable is said to have the perfect leg proportions (18.5 inch thigh, 12 inch calf, 7.5 inch ankle), and it is not something she claimed herself, but hosiery specialists during her time attested to this. I can whip up the tape measure right now and prove that I too have the perfect leg proportions, but I just ate cake (most of what’s in the box, actually), and I have no illusions that it would be as perfect had I not given in to the cake temptation.

And besides, Grable already claimed that title, so maybe I should think of a more original title for myself. Like, “The Girl Who Ate The Most Cake In A Night”.